Goodbye For Now, New York

 
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So this may have been written almost 3 months ago…and may just be getting posted now due to a lot of site maintenance and redesign. But, it’s still a part of my journey. I hope you enjoy.


New York, where do I start?

You raised me, you shaped me, you challenged me, and you supported me.

Your streets and avenues hold memories of elementary school field trips, freezing nights, sweaty subway rides, and countless hours spent chatting over coffee. They hold memories of every holiday from Christmas to New Years to 4th of July. They remind me of undeniable hope, utter confusion, preteen laughter, and young adult wanderings. And of course, they are the backdrop for dozens of "firsts." Ah, the nostalgia.

And I can't help but think of the Avett Brothers:

"The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town 'cause
Nothing happens here that doesn't happen there
When you run make sure you run
To something and not away from 'cause
Lies don't need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere"

When things didn't go to plan, I often felt an instinct to get away. Not necessarily run away, but escape my worries and problems even just for a bit. As if geography was what was to blame. And in a way, I almost understand my own longing to do so. Sometimes the physicality of a memory is too overwhelming. But relief is always temporary until you face your challenges head on.

So, New York, though I resented you during difficult times, none of which you were to blame for, you taught me something important about navigating the mysterious ways of the universe. You taught me that things happen in life, and what matters most isn't what happens, but how you choose to react to those happenings. Once I understood this, you took me back with arms open wide, never bitter for the time it took me to come around.

And as I pack my bags, know that it's not because I'm looking to run away to a city that doesn't know my name. No, I'm running towards something. Running towards my next step. And when I inevitably face new sets of challenges, I'll think of what you taught me.

So thank you, for everything. For not only being my home for the majority of the past 23 years, but for also giving me the best people I've ever known. And we both know goodbye is never for good. So instead, it's goodbye for now, and I'll see you soon.

London — you're up next. It's going to be a wonderful adventure to see you again.

With love,

Esra